Mom in the City

Yesterday, the weather outside was cold and rainy in Manhattan.  Nonetheless, I had so much fun at the pre-birthday party that method threw for me at their pop-up shop down in Soho.  It brightened my day (along with the lunch at Telepan earlier in the day). 

I’m already a method fan, so it was fun to introduce/re-introduce some of my friends to the products.  To my pleasant surprise, many of them knew (and are already using!) method products.  Like I’ve written before, I became a “convert” when I noticed that the cleaners worked as well as regular ones without all of the unnecessary chemicals and toxins.  One mom mentioned that she had started using the products in response to her child’s allergies.  Yet another mom mentioned that she uses the products because they’re one of the reasonably priced natural cleaning lines and that their products don’t aggravate her daughter’s asthma condition.  On and on – it was interesting to hear why other women were interested in using natural cleaning products.  It was so much fun when we all learned what was in our “goody bags” – the French lavender all surface cleaner, the cucumber dish detergent, the sea minerals hand wash and the “lil’ bowl blu” toilet bowl cleaner (the crowd favorite!).  Of course I loved the fact that the goodies came in my favorite “Plastic bag Rehab” reusable tote.

Danny Seo (who is such a handsome, fun sweetheart) led us in a crafting session using recycled items.  Everyone did such a great job.  (There was one exception.  I won’t name names, but her plate was a mess.  Danny, who was super-sweet couldn’t even think of anything nice to say about it.  She jokingly blamed Danny, who promptly called for “security”.  We were laughing so much, because she was such a great sport about it – I love my close friends!)

(Danny is helping with the craft project.)


(My craft project - what a great (pre)memory of turning 35!)

Besides the great method products and the fun craft, the food (primarily organic) and drinks were so good.  The highlight was the beautiful super-yummy birthday cake that they had as a surprised for me.  Near the end, Danny and I took pictures in the store’s special confessional booth.

(Isn't this birthday cake beautiful?)

(This was a gift of champagne creatively wrapped by Danny.)

(It was so much fun playing in the photo booth.  You've got to try it!)

I can’t thank method enough…they thought of everything.  It was my best pre-birthday party ever! 

P.S.  Don't forget to stop by method's SoHo's pop-up shop (550 Broadway between Prince and Spring) which will be open from May 13 – June 7.

Posted by kdc521 at 02:36 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The fed-ex guy is becoming my new best friend.  Yesterday was going along same old, same old (work, caring for the boys, etc., etc.). Then, the doorbell rang.

It was the fed-ex guy... with a Wii Fit and Wii Balance Board along with some cute workout socks and a towel.  After I opened the box, I started jumping up and down, clapping my hands and saying, "Yay!" to no one in particular (my four years old Michael by default). If you read this blog on a consistent basis, then you know that Wii Fit was tied for #2 on "My List" of things that I would love to have this year.  So, I was definitely doing the happy dance.

(Once again, I have no excuse to not be in great physical shape.  The timing was perfect - earlier in the day, my Tae-bo video tape had died all of a sudden in the middle of my workout.) 

In any event, the Wii Fit is going to officially launch on May 19th.  There will be a special event in Central Park where visitors can try out the game from 8am to 5pm.  You can find out the full details here.  I plan on being there.

Posted by kdc521 at 09:40 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My week-end started out with a bang and ended on a sweet note.

Friday started off uneventful.  It was laundry day and it was wet and dreary outside.  THEN, the Fed-ex guy came.  The day became like a mini-Christmas.  My package contained a Wii unit with the sports bundle along with two games and a Nintendo DS Lite along with three games!  My four year old was so exited.  He kept saying, "It's like Christmas.  Maybe it's going to snow later today."  (One of the Wii games, Mario Party 8, has already become my husband and son's new addiction - those two are such competitive gamers!)

Saturday was fun too.  My husband's family (his parents, his brother's family, his aunt and friend) came over for a pre-Mother's Day dinner/gift exchange.  I'm very fortunate in that I really like my mother-in-law, so it was a good time.  This was the first time that my father-in-law had played the Wii (we've had our own unit since last year).  He chose to play baseball with Michael (my four years old).  Michael wins (of course) and tires him out in the process.  He then proceeds to beat his uncle in boxing.  (See, it's not just me - he is really good!)  Then, to teach him some humility, my husband beats Michael in tennis.  Michael's grandfather was like, "That's right. He (Michael) needs to learn that he can't win everything.  I was just laughing, because Michael had tired out his granddad and uncle.

Sunday was nice and uneventful.  I received some really sweet gifts and cards from friends.  I received cards and "the day off" from my husband and sons. It was exactly what I asked for and exactly what I (thought) I wanted.  At the end of the night though, I asked my husband, "Really, you didn't get me a gift?" (Now, note that I told him several times that I didn't want a physical gift because he was paying to get my blog redesigned.)  He said, "Kim, I guess you learned a lesson today.  You talked yourself out of a gift."  I couldn't do anything but laugh.  He was right.  For the record, the next time I WANT A GIFT! 

Then, I thought about it.  My Mother' Day was great.  I have great, healthy kids and a loving husband who made sure that I didn't have to: cook a meal; dress a kid; change a diaper; wash a dish or anything else that I didn't want to do that day AND I got to take a nap in the middle of the day - how great is that?!  So, all in all, this ended up being one of the best days ever.

Posted by kdc521 at 10:18 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Following is my favorite mom poem of the moment: 

Prettiest Mom

Before I was a Mom

I never tripped over toys or forgot words to a lullaby.

I didn't worry whether or not my plants were poisonous.

I never thought about immunizations.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never been puked on.

Pooped on.

Chewed on.

Peed on.

I had complete control of my mind and my thoughts.

I slept all night.

Before I was a Mom

I never held down a screaming child so doctors could do tests.

Or give shots.

I never looked into teary eyes and cried.

I never got gloriously happy over a simple grin.

I never sat up late hours at night watching a baby sleep.

Before I was a Mom

I never held a sleeping baby just because I didn't want to put him down.

I never felt my heart break into a million pieces when I couldn't stop the hurt.

I never knew that something so small could affect my life so much

I never knew that I could love someone so much.

I never knew I would love being a Mom.

Before I was a Mom -

I didn't know the feeling of having my heart outside my body.

I didn't know how special it could feel to feed a hungry baby.

I didn't know that bond between a mother and her child.

I didn't know that something so small could make me feel so important and happy.

Before I was a Mom -

I had never gotten up in the middle of the night every 10 minutes to make sure all was okay.

I had never known the warmth, the joy, the love, the heartache,

the wonderment or the satisfaction of being a Mom.

I didn't know I was capable of feeling so much, before I was a Mom.
-Author Unknown

HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

Posted by kdc521 at 03:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Save the Children released its ninth annual Mothers' Index today.  Guess what?  The United States isn't in the top 10, which I found to be really surprising.  The index, which ranks the best and worst places to be a mother and a child, ranked the United States as 27th (we were #26 last year).  Not surprisingly, the top slots were held by Nordic countries.  To read more and view a multimedia presentation, go here. 

Posted by kdc521 at 01:57 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I read an article in the Wall Street Journal "A Final Farewell" that had me in tears.  It's about Dr. Randy Pausch, a 47-year-old college professor who's dying of pancreatic cancer.  Previously, he had given a popular lecture about life to students.  The article discusses his life since his lecture and how he and his family are dealing with his diagnosis.

I think the thing that makes me weep when I read/see things like this is that as a wife and mom, I think "how would I handle this if it was my reality?"  Dr. Pausch has a wife and three children, ages 6, 3, and 1.  If you read the article, you'll be touched by how he's preparing for his kids' emotional future.  You will also feel for both him and his wife as they anticipate the life that they won't be able to share together as planned.

At the end of the day, I believe that God doesn't give us more than we can bear.  However, life (both mines and others) has shown me that I can bear more than I think.  So, I always go away from these articles focusing on living each day to the full, because truthfully "tomorrow" is not promised to any of us.  (That reality is just all the more obvious when people have specific medical diagnosis.)

In any event, if you need a good cry, read the article/watch the video.

Posted by kdc521 at 09:21 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My husband keeps asking me what I want for Mother's Day and my birthday.  I keep telling him "nothing but the blog redesign".  That's not good enough for him though.  (Here's the back-story: Last year, I had a special day that I didn't want any gifts for, so he didn't get me anything.  Another guy friend of mines got me a special gift for that day though.  Since then, my husband wants to make sure that he's not "upstaged" by anyone else.  He's so cute!)  So, I told him that I'd put a list on my blog (for him, family and close friends).  That way, I don't have to keep answering the question.  (The great thing about lists for me is that once I do one, it lasts for the whole year through Christmas.)  So, here you go honey...my top twelve Mother's Day/ birthday/Christmas '08 list:

-A blog redesign (by Karen of Swank Web Style)
-A Flip video camera
-Wii Fit
-A new digital camera (ours keeps dying at the most inopportune times!)
-A spa gift certificate
-A hood hair dryer
-Clothes: dresses, jeans, tops
-Accessories: belts, purses, earrings (not expensive ones though because I constantly end up missing one - SEAN!), hair scarves, socks (I never think to get them for myself and my husband is tired of me "borrowing" his socks.) 
-Stationery
-A jewelry box
-An over the door shoe holder
-Drugstore gift cards (drugstores are to me what toy stores are to kids!) 

Posted by kdc521 at 09:06 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Reuters ran a great article entitled "If your mom's your best friend, who's your mother?". 

In the article, five types of mothers are mentioned (perfectionist, unpredictable, me first, complete and best-friend).  The group that clinical psychologist and author Stephan Poulter finds that is on the rise is "best-friend mothers" who are mothers who want to be best friends with their children.

The article points out that these types of moms can mess up boundaries and leave their kids with a lack of guidance. (Of course, Lindsay Lohan's mom is used as an example.)

Personally, I'm not a big fan of labels.  I would like to think of myself as a "complete" mom, but then I have to laugh.  Complete makes me think of being finished / having arrived.  I do my best (like most moms that I know) but I think that motherhood is one area of life that you never "arrive".  That's what makes parenting such an adventure to me ...as soon as I have a "system" down, something changes and we're back at the drawing board!

I must agree though that I see a lot of moms who would rather be their kid's friend more than anything else.  I do think that is dangerous.  Kids need (and want!) boundaries, discipline and direction.  I hate when I see young kids running their homes/calling the shots. I'm not trying to be judgmental, but I really do think that parents who allow their kids to do so (under the guise of "friendship") are setting themselves up for some serious head and heartaches when their kids grow up. 

Ultimately, I don't think that it's an either/or (parent/friend) decision.  I think that if we do our best at being a good parent, then the majority of time we will also be our child's friend (and if not, oh well!  Hopefully, they'll have many other friends in life.).

Posted by kdc521 at 08:14 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Fark.com ran in interesting survey.  You can take it here.

The survey question is: "If you could go back to being 20, what characteristic or belief would you instill in yourself to make your life better?"

Wow, for me 20 was almost 15 years ago.  I was a sophomore at Columbia thinking that the world was mine's.   

Looking back, I wish that I could have made myself grasp the concept of "making the most of every opportunity".  I look back and see so many connections/relationships that I could have built/maintained that would have helped me in a variety of ways later in life (i.e. I didn't follow up on calls from Spike Lee's production company regarding a pitch that I had sent them; I didn't follow up regarding working for Dustin Hoffman's office after being his babysitter for a short time, etc., etc. - DUH!).  I also see many experiences that I chose not to participate in (primarily travel, which is much easier to do before you "settle down" and have multiple kids).

Then again, who knows?  Perhaps if I had made the most of every opportunity then I would have missed out on the life I have now, which would be a tragedy.  Remembering my 20 years old self, I probably wouldn't have listened to the (almost) 35 years old me anyway.  (Isn't it funny how when you're 20, the 30s seem so old?!)

Posted by kdc521 at 11:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

snark·y  sarcastic or disrespectful; snide.   

Personally, I don't (or at least I try not to) do snarky writing.  I must admit though that some writers do it so well (and for the most part good-naturedly) that it makes me howl with laughter.

For instance, Jezebel.com (one of my new favorite sites) has this article entitled Parenting Author, Childless Woman Weigh In On Baby Couture.  It is about a new upscale magazine, Baby Couture, which has the slogan, "We put the 'coo' in couture."  I love, love, love magazines so I was eager to read their review. 

A few of the lines from the article that had me laughing:

-The Editor's letter begins, "I am what I've coined a 'serial miserablist.'" I stopped reading after that.

-Cayden, Aiden, Braydon, Jayden. Will and Jada, look what you started! Please make this whole trend go away.

-Black kid! Redhead kid! Baby Couture is officially more diverse than Vogue.

In any event, I'd still pick up the magazine.  I'm sure that I'll find something helpful/useful in it.

Posted by kdc521 at 11:28 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We just got back home from going on a mini family vacation at the Jersey shore.  My husband and oldest son didn't want to come back, but all good things must come to an end.

It's amazing how bonding it is to get away from everything and everyone for a few days and just focus on the family.  My oldest son Michael was joined at the hip with his Dad while my baby Sean and I were able to get some one on one time for us.  Michael is a (relatively) well mannered kid anyway, but while we were away, he was like "superkid" - no meltdowns, sharing with his baby brother, clearing the table for everyone, etc.  (My husband and I kept asking, "Can we take this kid home with us?")  It was also fun to see Sean's little personality coming through.  He's a little dance machine.  He kept turning the dial on the radio and every time that it actually landed on music, he just threw his hands in the air and moved his whole little body all over the place (so cute!).

Our favorite parts of the trip were:

-The Boardwalk: Michael was able to play the live versions of some of the Wii Carnival games that he loves.  I was also able to introduce him to the "ancient" game of Pac-man.

- The Cape May County Park and Zoo: This place was by far my favorite family-friendly zoo.  All of the animals were so near (yet safe) that the kids could see them up close.  It's also easy to walk around and see everything without exhausting the kids.  My husband and I were just as excited as Michael and Sean.  They also had a reasonably priced cafe area to eat lunch.  After, the zoo and lunch, we went to the park (which was equipped for young toddlers to older kids).  This place was so great and did I mention that it was free/donations only?!  My husband and I kept saying, "It would be so great to have something like this in the city".  Of course we have the Central Park Zoo (much smaller), the Bronx Zoo (much bigger - impossible to see everything in a day), etc. but they don't compare.   

And

-The food: It may just be that everything tastes better when I don't have to cook it.  Everything tasted so fresh and flavorful.  It's probably good that we're back so that I can go back on my Weight Watchers plan! 

In any event, a great time was had by all and it is good to be back.

Posted by kdc521 at 11:10 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I recently read a Newsweek article about an upcoming children's book on plastic surgery, My Beautiful Mommy! which was written by Michael Salzhauer, M.D. a board-certified plastic surgeon in Bal Harbour, Fla.   

Basically, the pictures and text are supposed to help young kids (ages four to seven) deal with their mom's physical changes.  In the book, a little girl goes with her mom to a cosmetic surgery consultation with the goal of mom becoming "prettier" by having a nose job and tummy tuck.  The mom also gets a breast job which is shown in the pictures but not mentioned in the writing. (You can see images from the book and a more detailed description at Newsweek.com.)

Granted, there are many women who have these types of cosmetic surgery procedures and who have children that ask questions.  However, this book's concept just seems wrong to me.  Little girls already have so many negative body image issues being thrown at them from media and society already.  I just don't see how mom bringing this book home helps.  Am I wrong???

Anyway, this book is supposed to be released on Mother's Day.  How ironic -- I guess the author thinks that a cosmetic "mommy makeover" would make the perfect gift.  I think not!

Posted by kdc521 at 01:56 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last Thursday, I was invited to speak on a panel about bloggers at Johnson & Johnson's Consumer Day.  I was psyched because the other bloggers have blogs (A Baby Boomer's Life After Fifty, Notes from the Trenches, and City Wendy) that are much more established than mines.  For me, it's always good to be able to learn from people who are farther along than I am in any area of life.

In any event, I took a car service out to Somerset, NJ and had a great lunch.  We were on the panel all of a good 15 minutes (if you blinked, you would have missed us) but at least we were able to speak with some of the audience members afterwards.  Normally, I would have been annoyed (the travel time ended up being longer than the actual event) but I was able to meet three great bloggers and get some helpful tips...especially from Chris of Notes from the Trenches.  (I'm such a rookie - twitter; second life; widgets; bloglines.com; truncating blogs, etc., etc. - I have a lot to learn about blogging!)  I was also able to get a good referral for a blog design company.  So, I decided that instead of a spa day for my birthday next month, I'll get the blog redesigned (OR I'll convince my husband that this is a legitimate "business expense" and get both ).

Posted by kdc521 at 09:02 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

After all of the partying that we've been doing lately, inevitably my kids got sick.  With my younger son Sean it was a pretty mild cold (runny nose).  Michael (my four year old) had a tougher time.  Usually, I let the kids' colds run their course.  (I'm not a big fan of medicating kids.)  However, this time Michael had a stuffy nose/ sneezing/ a really bad cough/ etc., so my dear husband went to the store to get a multi-purpose cold formula for him. 

To my surprise, he called me and said that besides the Vick's Children's Nyquil, the cold medicines recommended doctor approval for kids under six.  Since I didn't want to either put my kid to sleep with medicine or bother my doctor, we just got the PediaCare® Children's Long-Acting Cough medicine (since the cough was the thing that was keeping him up).  When my husband came home, I started doing some research about cold medicine for kids.  (It's still weird to me that you can "knock your kid out" with Nyquil but should not use other cold medicines without your doctor's approval.)

It turns out that back in 2007 a panel recommended that popular over-the-counter cold and cough medicines should not be used for children who are 2 to 5 years old.  (There's a great article about it here.)

It simply goes to show that information can be out there but until it applies directly to my life (i.e. kid with a cold), I don't necessarily think about it.  (I vaguely remember there being a big "to do" about the panel's recommendation in the news last year.)

Posted by kdc521 at 05:30 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Last Friday, I was fortunate enough to be a part of a BlogHer Business panel, "We Don't Know What to Do with You".  If this type of thing (the busines of blogging) interests you, you can read an overview here. 

Overall, it was good to meet a variety of other bloggers including Stefania Pomponi Butler from CityMama and KimchiMamas; Laura Martinez a journalist, editor and AdAge blogger; Kathryn Thompson and Sarah.

Posted by kdc521 at 09:52 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

You've probably heard the saying, "When the Student is Ready, the Teacher Will Appear".  Well, I guess that I'm ready to lose my last pregnancy (yeah, right...my "baby" is 13 months) pounds -- and the "teacher" has appeared in the form of Weight Watchers (?!)

I know -- I couldn't believe it either.  So here's what happened.  Every three months, I evaluate the last three months and make specific goals for the next three months.  (Since my finance days, I've been stuck on a "quarter" system.)  Anyway, as I examined the various areas of my life, I felt like (as far as the things that are within my control) things were pretty much on track/going as planned EXCEPT my goal to "be at my pre-baby "fighting weight" before I turn 35 on May 21st".  Like I mentioned in an earlier post, I have no outside motivation to lose this last bit of weight.  In fact, my mom and husband are like "you might lose your butt if you lose any weight".  Well, I'm willing to take that risk! 

So, as I was renewing my resolve to lose the weight, I received an invitation to a Weight Watchers event focusing on achieving "a healthier lifestyle that works for you".  I figured it couldn't hurt to get a few tips on the food front (since I've decided to go back to what worked for me in the past exercise-wise -- Tae-bo).  I'm so glad that I went.  Weight Watchers is not (only) the program that I was vaguely familiar with.  For one thing (and I apologize in advance to any Weight Watchers), I thought that it was primarily for extremely overweight people.  It turns out that it is for them, but it's also for people trying to lose 5+ pounds (like me!).  The other two things that I liked were:

1.  They now have an online program in addition to the traditional weekly meetings.  I am not a meeting person, so I would never commit to attending meetings.  I am a computer person, so I like the online option.  In my mind, with this option I'm only accountable to myself!

And

2.  They now offer two different food plans - flex and core.  The flex plan is what I associated with Weight Watchers (counting points).  That's great for a lot of people, but I'm just not into counting calories, however it's packaged.  I do like their core plan where I can eat as much as I like (within reason of course!) of low-calorie foods.

So, for the next three months, I'm going to be trying their online program.  I'll let you know how it goes.  Who knows?  Perhaps I'll meet my birthday goal after all.  (In any event, I'll be healthier based on the effort!)

Posted by kdc521 at 09:20 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Okay, so it's really not that dramatic as my title suggests...

Without a doubt, I love the parenting writing and speaking work that I do.  However, I’ve always wanted a product to sell.  Last year, I began laying the groundwork of a t-shirt company geared towards babies, toddlers and preschoolers.  (Yes, I know – another t-shirt line.) 

The idea began after reviewing a gazillion (I’m exaggerating) tees.   Some of the tees were great but very pricey.  I would think to myself, “It’s just a t-shirt, not a work of art.”  Then, I had a mental click – why not start a line of classical art t-shirts?  I came up with the name (Masterpiece Tees) and the tagline (“Merging art and fashion for the preschool set”) By the way, I’m only sharing this stuff now, because I’m not going to do it anymore.  Feel free to steal/borrow any of the logic.  Anyway, I got a SCORE mentor, took a class on the t-shirt business, lined up supply sources, etc. 

The last hurdle was to get the art license that I had my heart set on.  I only wanted to do a Picasso collection to start (perhaps this is a throwback to my Art Humanities classes while at Columbia College).  I had it all planned out – start with five classic black and white prints (The Dog, Owl, The Butterfly, The Camel, and Dove of Peace) and then later, I would add colored prints on tees.  I contacted the Artists Rights Society of New York (ARSNY) and they were great.  They walked me through the whole submission process over the last year (I took some time off when Sean was born).  It’s been an interesting process dealing with art dealers, museums, etc. 

Posted by kdc521 at 02:26 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This weekend was a blur…a wedding in Virginia, my son’s fourth birthday party and (oh yes) I can’t forget …my hair caught on fire!

On Friday night, I caught a Greyhound bus to Hampton, VA.  (I haven’t caught a bus home since college days!)  My dad was having a wedding celebration in VA on Saturday evening, so the bus schedule was the only thing that worked out.

I thought that I would take a (kid-free: I left the kids at home with my husband) nap once I arrived on Saturday morning.  I was (happily) wrong.  My sister and her kids met my mom and me at a great breakfast place.  Then, I spent the rest of the day with my mom doing girly things (salon/shopping, etc.) and catching up.  Afterwards, I went to my dad’s wedding reception.  It was a lot of fun.  Great food, great music and (best of all) my dad and his new bride seemed really happy.  After, the reception, my dad drove me to the bus station and waited with me until the bus came.  It was great having some one on one time with my dad.  Our relationship has grown so much over the years.  I’m so happy to be his daughter!

So my bus arrived back in NYC on Sunday morning.  Then, I needed to wait two hours for the subway to take me home.  I was so happy when I finally set foot in my home.  I was only gone one full day, but I really missed my husband and kids.  (Note to self: don’t ever take a job that requires a lot of travel!) 

Once I got home, I had 45 minutes to get ready to go to church.  We made it on time.  However, I missed most of the service, because I was running around looking for the perfect birthday cake to match my son’s “Pirates of the Caribbean” cake topper that I had ordered from Amazon/ The PartyWorks.com.  I ended up getting two cakes – one for the pirates and one for the princesses.

As soon as service was over, my husband and I jumped in our car to go set up for Michael’s “Pirate and Princess” party that started an hour later.  Overall, everything went really well.  (I have really, great helpful friends and family!)  Everyone seemed to have a great time.  The girls had fun with their princess activities, especially the face-painting.  The boys had fun with their pirate ones, especially “Pirate Sean” singing pirate songs while playing his guitar. One of my favorite parts was that one of the smallest girls at the party was the one who pulled the string that brought all of the candy/toys down from the Pirates of the Caribbean string piñata.  I was also happy that there was room for everyone to move around freely (1500 square feet).  For the first time in a long while, I didn’t feel claustrophobic at a big birthday party.  Most of all, I was happy that my son “loved” his party.

Oh yes, my hair catching on fire…  At the end of the party, we were getting ready to sing “Happy Birthday” to Michael.  I had already gotten over the fact that some unnamed person had placed a phone book on top of my cake topper ruining it.  Oh well, Michael still had two cakes – he would be okay.  So, three of the candles were lit, but my husband was having a hard time with the fourth candle.  I leaned over to help get the wick out.  All of a sudden, I see flames – coming from my hair – one of the candles had lit my hair on fire!  Thank God that I don’t use a lot of hair product or this story might not have had such a happy ending.  I was able to quickly put out the hair fire.  Then, we promptly finished lighting the candles, sang for my son, and served the cakes.  That’s what we moms do...keep on keeping on   Fortunately, I didn’t lose any hair in the incident.  Some of the guests and I were joking about my “Michael Jackson” moment.

After the party, we went to an (unexpected) early St. Patrick’s Day dinner (corned beef and cabbage) over my husband’s aunt’s house.  Suffice it to say, by the end of the week-end I was a zombie…albeit a happy one.  My dad was happy.  My son was happy.  Who could ask for anything more?

Posted by kdc521 at 10:29 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Michael, my oldest son, is making me and my husband laugh with the planning of his fourth birthday party this month.  Once we finally settled on a theme (pirates and princesses) that all three of us could agree on, the fun began. 

Who should we invite?  My son: “Everybody”.  He’s been going around to his friend’s parents asking if they received their invitation.  (God forbid if I hadn’t invited all of his little friends!)  Well, we didn’t invite everyone.  However with about 30 kids along with their parents, we’re looking at 70+ people.  My husband: “Who does he think that he is - P. Diddy?  We wouldn’t even invite that many people if we were throwing a party for ourselves!”

Where should we have the party? My son: “At our house” That’s not happening.  I get too claustrophobic with a bunch of kids running around in a tight space.  So, we’re having the party at Chelsea Studios.  They have great spaces at reasonable prices (Unlike other studios in the city that charge you 3 to 4 times as much when they hear that it’s a party, Chelsea Studios charges the same rates as they do for rehearsals, auditions, etc.)

What should we give the kids that come?  We looked through various pirate and princess themed things and came up with bandanas, tattoos, eye patches and pirate bracelets for the boys along with swords that they would make as crafts at the party; tiaras, nail polish, lip gloss and princess bracelets for the girls along with the glitter wands that they would make as crafts.  That was reasonable.  Then, my son tried to start adding things for the girls. “We should get all of them glittery purses and necklaces and…” No.  Anyway, Birthday in a Box has great party decorating packages while Oriental Trading has really great party favors and craft supplies.

Michael also mentioned that he wanted a (real) ship at his party with water (to sail it on) and a parrot. (No.)  He also wanted all of the guests to have “tickets” to get in the party (like at the Children’s Museum).  What can I say?  At least he knows what he wants. 

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I'm a goals-type person.  I always have been (my mom says that I have been writing and checking things off lists since as long as she can remember) and I probably always will be.  The cool thing is that many (not all) of my resolutions/goals/list items have come true over the years. 

One thing that I noticed recently after reviewing my 2007 goals was that the ones that I didn't even come close to meeting were either a. ones that I simply weren't motivated to meet or b. goals that I had set because someone else thought I should.

Example A: Let's take my weight for instance.  I'm not as big as I was at the beginning of 2007 (but then again, I was 8 months pregnant) but I'm also not as slim as I was before I got pregnant.  My youngest son is now ten months so I can't blame the weight on him any more (in my mind that excuse ends at 6 months).  Here's the thing... I just have not had the outside motivation to lose the weight.  The two people (my mom and my husband) whose opinions I value the most think that I look great.  My husband is great/biased - I have to be having a really bad appearance day for him to think that I don't look great.  I can usually count on my mom to be objective though.  (This is the woman who told me that I needed to lose weight three months after the birth of my first son.)  However, this time around, she's like "You look great.  You don't need to lose any weight.  All of your curves are in the right places."  Thanks Ma!  Don't get me wrong, I'm not a weight-obsessed person but the scales (and my favorite jeans) don’t lie.  I still need to lose a few more pounds. So, that's one of my inner motivated goals for 2008 - to be at my pre-baby "fighting weight" before I turn 35 on May 21st.

Today was such a great day.  Everyone in the family has gotten over the worst of their cold symptoms, so we’re back on track.

My husband and I had our first kid-free movie date since Sean (our 10 months old son) was born.  We went to see The Great Debaters.  It was excellent.  The movie is loosely based on a true story about a Black college debate team that ultimately (spoiler alert!) wins a debate against Harvard.  All of the actors did an amazing job and although a few of the scenes are racially disturbing, the movie is inspiring and uplifting.  Besides the movie being great, I was just happy to be able to eat my nachos (my favorite movie food!) and drink my soda in peace and quiet (besides that one crazy person in the theater who kept threatening out loud to “go down to Texas” – you have to see the movie to understand his anger). 

Later this evening, a married couple friend of ours came over.  We have them over for dinner a lot.  This time they brought the meal, cooked it and cleaned up afterwards.  While we women talked about our hopes for 2008, the men and my oldest son played the Wii game.  Sean was just having fun walking around (he’s all over the place with his little robot walk – so cute!)  It was such a relaxing, fun evening.

Now, everyone is in bed while I get a little blogging and work done.  I’m going to bed by 11:30pm tonight, which is good for me.

As Ice Cube said in one of his songs, “Today was a good day”.  (I never know what quote will go through my mind – from classic literary ones to rap lyrics.  The human mind’s capacity for variety is amazing!)

Posted by kdc521 at 11:00 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

“The best plans of men and mice often go awry” - Robert Burns

My husband (a new teacher) has vacation this entire week.   So, last week we made plans for every day of our "at-home" vacation in the City.  Monday, we would go to the American Museum of Natural History.  Tuesday, we would celebrate Christmas with my husband's family.  Wednesday, I would give my husband a break and take the kids to a Kwanzaa celebration at the Children's Museum, etc., etc.

Besides Christmas day, nothing has been going according to plan.

I was really sick on Monday, so my husband and older son went to AMNH without me and the baby.  The worst of my cold is over today, but now my baby is sick, so we won't be making the Kwanzaa celebration.

Oh well, it was a good plan... 

Posted by kdc521 at 02:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

At different points in my life, time, energy and money have held varying levels of importance.  Sometimes, money is more important....it will be so again in a couple of years when we'll need a bigger car; to buy a home; etc. 

Right now, time and energy are the most important.  When my husband switched from computer programming to teaching, I thought that my family would have more time together.  We will (in the summer) but we don't right now.  With teaching school, going to school, preparing his lesson plans for the next day of school, etc, etc.... time with my husband is the most important.

The best gift that I gave my husband for Christmas was the gift of time - 15 hours a month to be exact.  Let me explain...

1. My husband spends about 30 minutes a day looking for parking which equals 900 minutes/15 hours for a 30 days month.

2. I gifted him a monthly parking space.  Coming from the South (where parking is plentiful) it seems like highway robbery to pay $250/month for a parking space.  However, when I calculated the price per hour based on the amount of time saved ($250 divided by 15 hours) the parking space value came out to approximately $17/hour. 

3. Since my husband makes more than $17/hour, it's a better investment of his time for us to pay the parking space fee (at least during the school year - we'll see about the summer).

On those same lines... the best gift that my husband gave me for Christmas was a monthly maid service to do the deep cleaning around the apartment.  I'm so happy about that.  I keep my home in pretty good condition (I think so anyway) but I hate doing the deep cleaning.  At $20/an hour it's a BARGAIN to get someone to do what I dislike so much. 

In any event, I think that each family has to make their own decisions about time/energy/money decisions.  For example, my husband expressed the desire to send his shirts out to be dry-cleaned (both of us hate ironing dress shirts).  We had to draw the line there though.  We can't justify the expense.  We just have to suck it up and take turns ironing the shirts.  It's fine though because we both got what we wanted the most.

Posted by kdc521 at 11:37 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

My whole family went to the CMOM on Saturday to see the performance.  Unfortunately, I was the only one who enjoyed it (well Sean, my baby, seemed to enjoy it too - if that counts).  Both Michael and my husband had these glazed, “when will this be over?” looks on their faces during the performance.  I think that part of the lack of interest was that some of the songs were in Hebrew and we didn’t know the English ones (perhaps if they would have had a songbook, it would have been more inclusive?).  My husband did know the dreidel song though – perhaps because he grew up in NYC.  In any event, at the end of the performance, my husband was like, “Where’s the latkes?” and Michael said, “You said that there would be food.”  (I did not.  CMOM where it was held, doesn’t even allow food.)  Oh well, I tried.  Next year, I’ll take them to a Hanukkah event with latkes!

Later that day, we tried to get a good picture of the kids to go on our holiday cards.  (I don’t really like “perfect” professional photos for my holiday cards – I want family and friends to see the kids in a somewhat natural pose.)  What did I learn?  1. I could never be a children’s photographer and 2. I could never be a baby wrangler (a job related to helping kids on film).  It was hilarious!  First, the batteries in the camera kept acting up, so my husband and I were having this huge conversation about alkaline and non-alkaline batteries – which ones would make the crazy camera work.  Finally, we had the camera working correctly.  Then, the kids would not both be still at the same time.  My baby Sean, who is nine months, kept crawling towards us as we tried to take the picture.  When Sean sat still, Michael would make these crazy Joker-esque smiles when we said, “Smile”.  (By the end, we learned that saying “Cheese” cured that problem.)  Finally, we said, “This is the last picture.  It is what it is.”  So, below you’ll see the shot that our family and friends will get on their Snapfish holiday cards.  (Oh well, next year perhaps we will do the professional shoot thingy!)

Posted by kdc521 at 11:26 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

On Wednesday, my three year old son Michael took part in a focus group for an upcoming show by Little Airplane Productions, the creators of The Wonder Pets, Oobi and more preschool programming.  Beforehand, I told him that his "job" was to listen to the story and then answer the questions that he was asked.  He did exactly what I said.  He listened intently while the story was being read.  Then when the facilitator asked questions, he was quick to answer...too quick.  Michael is a lot like me in that he processes information really quickly.  As soon as the facilitator asked the question, he was ready with the answer.  The other little kids who were participating just repeated his answers until the facilitator started asking them what they thought first specifically by name.  We'll have to work on giving others the opportunity to answer questions first before he goes to preschool next September.  I like that he grasps things quickly.  However, I hope that he isn't like I was in school - I would learn everything really quickly, then get bored and talk for the rest of class, distracting the other students who didn't learn as quickly - not good.  I never really got punished by teachers for acting that way but looking back, I see how unfair that was to the other kids.

Anyway, it was neat to see how Little Airplane does focus groups for their preschool programming.  They were really great at listening to the kids' input in order to make the shows great.  I said that I would spread the word, so here's the info:

"For those who have children ages 3 to 5, they are invited (with their parents or guardians) to the offices of Little Airplane Productions to listen to - and offer feedback on - potential episodes for current or future educational preschool shows.  Each participant receives a $25 travel stipend and a small gift. Sessions run 30-40 minutes and various times and dates are available; call or email Natascha to schedule an appointment. 207 Front Street, in the South Street Seaport. [212.965.8999; email: natascha@littleairplane.com; http://www.littleairplane.com] "

Later, I found out that Little Airplane also offers tours of their studio (all work on their shows is done in-house) for $10/person.  I think that would be fun for the kids to see a "behind the scenes" look at some of their favorite shows, so I plan to go back when the weather gets warmer.

Posted by kdc521 at 12:06 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

The last couple of days have been full of holiday prep.

On Sunday, we went to the DM/Cookie magazine “babes in toyland” event at FAO Schwarz.  The snow did not deter my husband and son, who were eager to go.  I’m glad that we went.  It was great to browse through the store and get a couple of things without huge crowds.  We picked up Candyland and a Parents Magazine Bee Bop Band.  Unfortunately, they didn’t have the main thing that my oldest son has his heart set on (Fisher Price’s Planet Heroes collection) so I ordered them online later.  It was also nice to finally meet Lyss Stern (the founder of DM) in person after having e-talked a few times.  She is a very friendly, welcoming person (with an adorable son). 

One thing that I especially liked in the event’s goody bag was the Baby Jamz CD.  I had seen the CD before, but was not inclined to get it.  (It’s the packaging – to me, it’s not that great/kind of “cheesy” – yes, I still haven’t found a word to replace that outdated one.)  Anyway, I was pleasantly surprised when I heard the music.  Solange Knowles (Beyonce’s sister) does a great job of singing updated versions of some classic nursery rhymes.  On Sunday night, my sons and I played the cd while alternating between playing instruments and dancing.  My husband even joined in on one of the songs – doing the “Chicken Noodle Soup” dance to the beat while my 3 year old started break-dancing.  So cute!    

On Monday, I completed all of my Christmas shopping online.  (I’m so happy with myself!).  Kid-wise, I ordered the Planet Heroes figures for my oldest son and Learn & Groove® Counting Maracas for my baby and my new nephew.  Now, all that’s left holiday-wise is it to get the cards out.  The problem is that I haven’t been able to find a picture that I like with just my two kids (I prefer to only have the kids on holiday cards), so I just might send regular Christmas cards with a family photo included.  I just don’t feel like dealing with any behind-the-scenes holiday-related things past this week.      

Posted by kdc521 at 11:51 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I was at a birthday party recently where I met a woman with a child a little younger than my 3 year old son.  As is normally the case, the topic turned to preschool.  I was impressed by her candor.  She said, "My husband and I went back and forth regarding whether or not we were going to play the preschool game.  We finally decided to play it.  Well, at least we know that we're playing the game."  I on the other hand mentioned that I had decided the opposite...I refuse to play the game.  (For those who are wondering what in the world I'm talking about, "the game" is paying insane amounts of money for pre-school so that your kid can possibly get in a good school in the future.)  I don't know, I just can't wrap my mind around paying more for pre-school at Columbia  (which a friend of a friend is doing) than I paid for college tuition there (granted that was 15 years ago tuition).  Maybe it's because I'm from the South and grew up with a totally different educational system.  (I'm not even going to start on how much I dislike the amount of standardized tests that NYC students have to take.  God forbid if your kid is a great student/ learner but not a great test taker...).  In any event, I love the city, but the educational system definitely still leaves much to be desired. 

(On a side note, the November issue of TimeOut New York Kids has an interesting, informative cover story on getting into NYC's nursery and kindergarten schools.)

Posted by kdc521 at 06:40 PM | Permalink | Comments (1)

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First of all, no, I didn't get a car or a gift bag or anything like that at the Oprah taping.

What I did get was a reminder of how blessed I am to live in America.  (I was at the 9/11 show taping - "The Children of 9/11".)  Danny "the singing cop" sang two songs for us before the show began taping.  He sang "The Lord's Prayer", read a poem about our country being fair and free, and then he sang "God Bless America".  Several audience members joined in.  "God Bless America, Our Home Sweet Home".

I had a few moments to reflect before the show started taping.  I do love America.  It's not a perfect county, but it's mine's and there's no place in the world that I'd rather live (visit, yes; live, no).  I definitely don't think that we've arrived at our ideals as a county (just check out what's going on with the Jena 6 case down in Louisiana) but I believe that we're doing better.  I don't even especially agree with the leadership direction of our country (even though I don't agree with all of Bush's policies, I still think that he's a nice man at heart and would make a great grandpa...but that's a sidenote).  Overall, I love that we live in a democracy and that when we vote (both with our ballots and our dollars), our opinions count.

Anyway, back to the show.  Children of 9/11 victims were on stage with Oprah and the focus was on the children being their parent's legacy.  It was supposed to be an uplifting show, but I honestly felt drained from crying by the time that I left.  The kids were talking about how their parent's deaths got harder each year as they got older/could understand more.  I was boo-hooing when parents told about how they had to tell their kids that their other parent was never coming come.  I especially lost it whan a man was talking about how he told his 3 and a 1/2 year old son (the same age as my oldest son!) that his mom had died and was in heaven, but that she could hear him if he wanted to say anything and the little boy said "I love you mom".  By that point, I was ready to leave and go home to my little boys to just hug them tightly (which I was able to do shortly afterwards).   

Overall, the show just reinforced the truth that life is a precious gift that can be taken away in a moment.  So moms, "Live Well" and "Love Life" (even on laundry day!).

Posted by kdc521 at 06:21 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

A married couple friend of mine’s was over our house for dinner last Tuesday.  After dinner, my girlfriend checked her messages.  An e-friend of hers had sent her an email saying that Oprah was coming to NY and that she and a guest were invited to be a part of the studio audience.  My friend read it casually and I screamed…”Take ME…I LOVE Oprah.”  She said okay and I started jumping up and down.  (I’m pretty expressive when I’m really excited.)  Both of our husbands were laughing at me.  My husband was happy that I was happy, but he’s not really a big talk show fan.  The only thing that he had to say was, “I hope that she says and you get a car; and you get a car…” (even though we already have a car and I don’t drive).

Anyway, I’m a list person and being in or on Oprah (the magazine or show) has been on my prayer list for the last couple of years.  Well, this isn’t exactly the same thing, but I’ll take it!

Posted by kdc521 at 03:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I guess that I should be planning and focusing on the fall season, but I’m not.  I’m still stuck on summer.  Fall doesn’t begin until September 23rd, so I still have three more weeks to enjoy summer.  I haven't crossed off all of the things on my personal and family "Summer To Do List", so I hope to cross of the last three before summer ends.  They are:

1. Take my son to the New York Aquarium.

2. Go away for a long weekend to the Hamptons. [No, we're not (financially) rich...we just go off-season.  You'll be amazed at the prices that you can get if you go just a week after Labor Day.  Fortunately, my husband gets a gazillion holidays now that he's a teacher, so we'll be going away for the long Rosh Hashanah/Ramadan week-end.]

and

3. Go to High Tea at Lady Mendl's (http://www.innatirving.com/dining-lady.asp). [Although high tea isn't a traditional summer activity, it's one of the things that I love.  I vowed to myself that I would go to a different high tea at least once every three months. I'm going with a friend on the 22nd...I'm cutting it close.] 

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Before Ms. Belkin spoke, the attendees had a chance to get to know each other.  I was glad to meet one of the women who was in the first class of Columbia College graduating women (CC'87).  It's hard to believe that women have only been attending Columbia for 20 years.  I didn’t realize that we were the last Ivy to become co-ed.

Anyway, I digress.  Ms. Belkin was a great speaker (even though she's a Princeton grad).  She spoke about how she never thought about balancing work and life as a Princeton student.  Rather, men and what she wanted to accomplish in the future were the focus of most of her student conversations.  Everything seemed possible...students had a "the world is ours" mentality.  Although I'm at least a decade younger than her, I felt the same way and discussed the same topics as a CC student in the early 90s.  I remember that I used to think of the Columbia College steps as my "field of dreams".  My friends and I would sit out there all times of the night and dreamscape about who we would be/ what we would do with our lives.  It was such an innocent, idealistic time of life in many ways.

Then, Ms. Belkin spoke about how work at the New York Times was her life until she got married and moved with her husband to Texas.  Even while in Texas, work was a huge part of her life as she freelanced for the NYT, wrote magazine articles and wrote a book.  I remember the time in my life when work was the most important thing...it was before I got married and had kids.  I remember my now-husband mentioning in a phone conversation at the time "You're always at work."  I couldn't disagree. Those were my Smith Barney days.  I got a "rush" being able to hang with the all-nighters.  I realized that a lot of "game" was face time.  There was a huge gap of time in the morning hours where people were totally unproductive.  Doing all-nighters/ going home to change and come right back to work were the norm in the investment banking division, so people sort of scheduled their lives around that reality.  I did it too until I got tired of the game!

Ms. Belkin then spoke about how her life really changed when she had her first son.  Her family moved from Texas to Westchester and she started commuting into the city to work at the NYT.  Her schedule was a little crazy but still manageable because of the "invention" of the cell phone.  When her second son, Alex, was born, Ms. Belkin "quit" her job and began to free-lance with the NYT, write books, etc. from home.  Being a work at home mom had its own set of challenges though.  For example, she shared how she had to get dressed up, leave the house and sneak back into her home office for several months in order for her older son to stay with the babysitter without a huge hassle.  I could relate to almost everything (except the commute...I have always worked near where I lived).  Being a work at home parent is great but it has its own unique set of challenges.  Right now, I watch both of my sons and work around their schedules.  Some days it works really great.  Some days it's not so great (i.e. when I have a deadline and a "needy" baby at the same time..I end up breastfeeding and typing simultaneously!).  At the very least, it's an adventure.

Then Ms. Belkin shared about the day when she was offered her own column on "life and balance”.  She needed to take her crying 3 year old son for a doctor's appointment at the same time that a magazine cover story was due...she was in an extreme moment of unbalance feeling as if she wasn't doing either of her roles (mom/worker) well.  She decided that she would write the column for three reasons: 1. It was a column in the New York Times; 2.She hoped that she would be able to get some answers about achieving this elusive "balance" (she noted that seven years later, she still has no answers but at least the conversation is taking place.  Everyone thinks that everyone else has the answer when the truth is that no one person is balancing their life "perfectly"); and 3. She saw the impossibility of "balance" as the story of our generation.  The reality is that we as women are needed at home more whether we like to admit it or not.  At the same time, many of us need and/or want to work and American workers are working longer hours in part due to technology (i.e. cells, Blackberries, etc.)...even when we're "off" the clock, we're still expected to be connected to it!

A little while later, the editor of the New York Times Magazine called and asked her to profile a women CEO of a Fortune 500 company to see how they were different from their male counterparts.  There were only seven such women at the time and none of them would consent to be the subject of the story.  This led Ms. Belkin to a greater story...why were there only seven women CEOs?  Why weren’t women "running the world" when there were so many opportunities available?  Those questions were the basis of one of the NYT's most controversial stories "The Opt-Out Revolution".  She had spoken with Mommy & Me groups of MBAs from elite universities where most didn't work outside of the home at all and none worked outside of the home full-time. The bottom line seemed to be that it was too hard… that the workforce seemed to be designed for men.  By that, she meant that workers are supposed to put everything into their jobs in their 20s and 30s and reap the rewards later in life. Women can do the same, but if they want kids, biology has to be accounted for.  Although more women are waiting longer to have kids, medically-speaking that is still not the ideal.  Another reason given for women who "opt-out" is that they don't see success the same way as men do...money and power are not the only things that define success for women...happiness, sanity and contentment are being added to the equation.  Also, women don't feel like they necessarily need "to succeed" at every moment in time (i.e. they decide to stay at home with their kids when they are young with the intention of going back to work full-time later).  In any event, the story had an amazing response which for the most part was consistent along generational lines.  The older generation of women "the original warriors' were upset that women were throwing away their hard-fought gains by not working, working part-time or taking time off from work for a period of time.  The current generation (those who just graduated or will be graduating soon) were confident that they were going to come up with a better way of balancing work and life.  I saved my generation for last...those of us who graduated in the 80s and 90s responded with guilt...those who were staying at home felt guilty for "wasting their education" and those who worked outside of the home felt guilty for ignoring/ not spending enough time with their children.  In sum, everyone felt that someone else was doing it better.  Of course, there were exceptions in each case.

I guess by definition, I am one of those women who the older generation would be upset with.  I received an Ivy education and had a world of possibilities available to me. After working for about a decade, I decided to focus on parenting for about a decade/ until both of my kids are in grade school.  I work part-time in a field that is totally different than the financial field that I worked in before. However, I feel no guilt about my decision.  I appreciate the doors that have been opened for me but the door that I appreciate being opened the most is that of CHOICE.  I make my decisions based on what I think is best for my family and me.  Being my own woman and making my own definition of success are some of the best gifts that the women's movement has gifted me. It's so funny, I remember walking through Columbia with another Mommy friend and she said, "You went to Columbia and now you're not using your education."  She didn't mean it in a bad way, but I am offended by that type of thinking.  To me, education is never wasted.  I use more of my "Columbia education"...i.e. Art Humanities, Music Humanities, Logic & Reason, etc. now that I'm a parent and parenting writer than before when I was a business analyst.  (Anyway, my degree was in history and sociology...what does that have to do with number crunching?!)  Overall, I think that we as women are our own worst critics.  We need to be secure enough in our own choices to respect (not necessarily agree with) other women's choices.  For the most part I believe that moms love their kids.  It's something about giving birth that just opens up a new, deeper, "throw myself in front of a bullet for you" type of love that is unexplainable.  As such, I assume that moms are doing their best and making the best decision that they can for their child(ren).  Of course, there are exceptions, but overall that's my take on things.

In the last four years since that article was written, things have changed (to a degree).  Many corporate companies are implementing more family-friendly programs.  Many moms are starting their own businesses.  There is this whole "reinvention" movement going on (see http://www.rolemommy.com/ for inspiring examples).  However, this is still very much a "women" conversation.  Ms. Belkin believes that men must become part of the equation because this is truly a work issue, not just a women's issue.  She ended her speech with a story about one "ideal" situation...there is a married couple who are both neonatologists at the same hospital.  They share the job and each day they decide who will go to work at the hospital.  The hospital only cares that one shows up!

After Ms. Belkin's speech, there was a short q & a.  Questions that were raised included the following:

3. What should we be teaching our children about life and work? (The realities, but don't necessarily expect them to listen....would the 20 year old you really listen to the 30+year old you?)

3. How do women who opt-out account for gaps in their resume when they want to return to work? (Flexibility exists in some companies but women have to realize that they will be facing issues of ageism as well as sexism on their return.  Think about your long-term plan before "opting out" and "keep your hand in" the industry that you would possibly like to return to one day.  In other words, don't leave completely.)

After the q&a, I was fortunate enough to speak with women from each generation.  The older woman that I spoke with encouraged younger women to spend as much time with their children as possible.  She felt that she didn't have a choice but to work full-time and now that her child is 21, she regrets the missed time.  I spoke with a woman from my generation.  She has two small children and works part-time as a junior partner at a law firm.  She was questioning whether or not to stay at her firm where she's not getting the "plum" assignments because of her part-time status.  Then, I spoke with someone who wants to get married and have kids.  She expressed that she wanted to stay at home with her future kids but felt that she would be wasting her education.  Everyone (even the women in attendance who did not have kids) had their own story.  It was great to hear them...without judgment being passed as to who was right or wrong.

Posted by kdc521 at 10:16 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

[On a sidenote, if you don’t like to bake at all, you might like the “I Don't Do Cupcakes!”
t-shirt from RoleMommy.com (http://www.rolemommy.com/).]  

Posted by kdc521 at 07:08 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Since Mom in the City neither charges membership fees nor adds surcharges to our events, we are very grateful to our sponsors.  They are the ones who subsidize the costs of maintaining our website and our monthly newsletters.  They also provide wonderful giveaways and goody bag items for our events. So here is a great big THANKS for all of your support!

Three sponsors (in addition to the others that have already been mentioned in our newsletter/on our blog) that donated items for our GymTime event (which was great....Mom in the City members have such cute, well-behaved kids!) were the following:

1. Earth's Best (http://www.earthsbest.com/):  They provided bags of yummy organic cookies for each of the kids along with coupons for future purchases.

2. pediped (http://www.pediped.com/Home/Home.aspx):  They donated a pair of boys and girls shoes for our great giveaways.  [These shoes aren't just adorable but they are also good for young kids' feet.  They are soft, flexible and easy to put on (but not so easy to kick off).  I have a pair for my youngest son, Sean, and I think that they are great!]

3. Half-Pint (http://www.halfpintstore.com/):  They provided discount cards for each of our members in attendance. 

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My husband, son and I had a "family date" yesterday.  Although we regularly spend time as a family, there are certain days (like yesterday) where we focus on doing things that my son would enjoy...you know, "making memories". 

Since our son (Michael) has been dancing around the house singing "Don't Push Me "Cause I'm Close to the Edge... from Happy Feet since he started seeing the commercials a month ago, it was an easy pick to go see the movie.  It was our first time taking him to a movie theatre, so we went to a matinee showing.  We didn't know what to expect, because Michael hates dark places and loud noises.  To our delight, he loved the movie.  My husband and I also enjoyed the movie.  The singing (Hugh Jackman and Brittany Murphy have really great singing voices!) and dancing were so cute  There were parts in the movie that were a bit inappropriate for a children's movie (sexual innuendo, the threat of violence, etc.) but Michael is so young that those parts kind of went over his head.  (Although, one of his favorite lines from the movie is "Kiss it, kiss it"....he doesn't understand that the penguins were telling the creature to kiss their butts!)  Also, at one point in the movie, I was becoming depressed because I thought that the movie was going to end on a negative note (the zoo scene for anyone who saw/sees it), but fortunately the movie's direction shifts and it ends on a victorious note.  The movie manages to get an important environmental message across without being "preachy".  I highly recommend this movie!

Later in the day, we did some Christmas baking...brownies and hand-shaped sugar cookies.  That's a whole other story though....

Posted by kdc521 at 10:09 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

This week as the nation celebrates Thanksgiving, I decided to share the three people on earth who inspire me to be the most grateful. 

1. My husband.  Sometimes it can be popular for moms to talk badly about their husbands and make a laundry list of all that they do wrong.  Fortunately for me, I can't join that chorus.  As I always say, "My husband is not perfect, but he's perfect for me!"  Don't get me wrong, he definitely has his little idiosyncrasies that drive me crazy at times, but overall I definitely feel like I got the better part in this marriage deal.  (No, I'm not one of those women with low self-esteem....I feel great about myself.  It also helps that my husband feels the same way in reverse - that he got the better part in this marriage deal.)  My husband is affectionate, supportive and my best friend. 

2. My son.  For the last couple of weeks, my son has been acting like a crazy child.  I'm not sure if it's just because he's two or because my stomach is getting bigger and he senses that he's not going to be the center of the universe anymore.  Irregardless, he has made me seriously reconsider my ability to parent two little boys at once.  I realize that it's too late to change my mind now, but I've had my moments!  Overall though, I feel really lucky to have my little boy.  He's smart, friendly, funny and so cute that I just want to eat him up. (Of course I'm biased in my description...what parent isn't?)  It really is like my heart expanded when I gave birth to this little one and even when he's behaving like a Tasmanian devil, there's no other child in the world I'd rather have. 

And

3.) My mom.  For most of my life (besides my senior year of high school), my mom and I have gotten along incredibly well.  I'm especially thankful for her now that I'm a mother myself.  After divorce, she raised five kids.  At times, I feel like I can barely raise 1 1/2 child with the help of a supportive spouse.  I don't know how she did it, but I'm grateful that she found/made a way.  Before my husband came along, my mom was my best friend and closest confidante.  (Now, she's my best woman friend.)  My mom just thinks that I am great.  She thinks that I can do whatever I set my mind to and that I will always find a way to make "lemonade out of lemons".  My husband calls me Pollyanna, but my mother was/is the original Pollyanna in my life.  My mom has not had an easy life, but her optimism, joie de livre (joy of life), and perseverance inspire me.  I want to be like her when I grow up! 

In any event, these are just a few of the people who help me to be thankful.  I hope that in the midst of all the Thanksgiving day planning and preparations that each mom can take a few moments to reflect on those who give them a reason to be grateful.  Happy Thanksgiving!

Posted by kdc521 at 05:34 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Normally, I carry a basic black “carry-all” tote when I’m traveling with my son.  I can throw a little bit of everything in it (his stuff/my stuff) and just go.  Unfortunately, since my favorite bag broke, I haven’t found one that I like.  As such, I’ve been traveling around with my little purse and my son’s “essentials” in one of his little bags…more things to keep track of (argh!)

Anyway, last Friday, after a playdate at Chelsea Piers Toddler Adventure Center and lunch, I was heading home with my son, my many bags, umbrellas (it was a rainy day), etc.  We get inside the subway station and I rush to get on the train.  Somewhere between the turnstile and the train, my little purse (containing my keys/id/credit cards/ metrocard/cash/ etc. falls off my arm.  Of course, because I’m holding so many other things, I don’t notice the missing bag until the train pulls away.  After looking like a crazy lady (talking to my self!) on the subway,  I rush back to the previous station, give the security card my sob story in case I have to get back on the train with no money/no card.  I then go back over to the side where I lost the purse and search for it.  “There it is!”  my 2 year old helpfully says.  (It isn’t…it’s just a black umbrella cover on the ground.)  Finally, I go to the train attendant and half-heartedly ask if anyone has turned in a black purse.  To my overwhelming delight and surprise someone had in fact turned in the purse and everything was inside…including the cash!  As the clerk said, “There are still some good, honest people in New York.” 

So, all that to say….

1. THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU to whoever handed in my little black purse at the 23^rd street station in Manhattan last Friday.  (For some reason, I think that it’s a mom and I hope that she’s reading this.)

and

2. That’s it for me traveling with multiple bags with my son.  I’m too pregnant and too distracted to keep track of so many things at one time.  I’ll be searching for a new big, black bag this week.  I welcome any suggestions!

Posted by kdc521 at 11:44 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

I’m so happy that I live at this moment in time.  Because of today’s technology, I can stay at home with my son and still be in touch with the business world.  I really have the best of both worlds.  Yesterday, I was able to listen to a great teleconference regarding starting a business while playing Legos (and various other things) with my son.  Thank God for the “mute” option.  Momentarily, I imagined the horror if the telephone system malfunctioned and the rest of the panelists and attendees could hear what was going on at my house…the Noggin, the potty talk, the random screaming that my son thinks is so hilarious when I’m on a phone call, etc.,..  Fortunately, that didn’t happen.  It’s great to be wired!

Posted by kdc521 at 10:39 AM | Permalink | Comments (0)

We found out on Monday that we're having another healthy (so far!) baby boy.  I'm really excited for several reasons.  The top three being...

1. Since we're only planning on having 2 kids biologically (we might adopt an older childin a few years depending on where we're at financially, emotionally, etc.), I really wanted my son to have a little brother.

2. This gives me a better chance of staying in the city (which I love)...the two boys can share a room.  We have a better chance of buying a 2br than a 3br in this crazy real estate market.

and 

3. I have just really enjoyed being a mom to my current son and expect (maybe wrongly!) twice the enjoyment.

 The only/main thing that I will miss about not having a girl is that I won't be able to shop for little pink (my favorite color!) clothes.  Oh well, there's always other people's baby showers to shop for!

Posted by kdc521 at 01:23 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Least Favorites:
-Elmo’s World: Blast-off (it made his - and my - stomach drop!)
-Rock Around the Block Parade (he loved the characters from afar, but was overwhelmed when they touched him!)
-Breakfast with Elmo (same reason as above)

Posted by kdc521 at 02:12 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

Many of our members have had (or will have) children after the age of 35.  There is a balanced, encouraging article entitled "Delayed Expectations" about this demographic at http://www.canada.com/nationalpost/news/artslife/story.html?id=3bdbaef8-5933-4d0e-807c-8e02f98e5e25&k=99962

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There is a mom out there selling space on her (very cute) son.  I'm not quite sure why this doesn't feel right to me, but it doesn't.  Although it seems like the mom is doing it with the right intentions, there's just something off (to me) about branding your child.  It also turns out that there are women out there selling advertising space on their pregnant bellies.  I know that pregnancy and babies are "hot" right now, but I think that these types of actions are taking things a bit far. Personally I would run away from any advertiser who would put their temporary tattoo on a kid's head or a pregnant stomach for marketing purposes...but that's just me.

For a more in-depth article on this subject vist AlterNet at http://www.alternet.org/blogs/themix/37952/

Posted by kdc521 at 01:20 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

"When you're walking down the street holding your daughter's hand, it makes you feel good when she looks good. It's like having the right car or the right handbag."
Boutique owner Jaye Hersh, who says moms who are on top of trends believe their kids' appearance reflects on them, Daily Breeze (Torrance, CA) | 5.16.06

Posted by kdc521 at 03:05 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

There is a great article regarding summer activity ideas in the Pocomo Record. It mentions the two schools of thought regarding making the most of the summer (structured activities including educational ones versus unstructured activities) and advocates striking a balance.

The article also includes activities to keep kids busy including a link to the U.S. Department of Education's "Summertime Funtime Activities" calendar for each day of the summer (www.kidsource.com/kidsource/content2/summertime.fun.html)

For the full article, visit http://www.poconorecord.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20060615/NEWS01/606150303

Posted by kdc521 at 01:19 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

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4/25/06
The annual number of kids prescribed anti-psychotic drugs jumped five-fold between 1995 and 2002, to an estimated 2.5 million. That's an increase from 8.6 out of every 1,000 kids in the mid-'90s to nearly 40 out of 1,000.AP 3.17.06

Posted by kdc521 at 12:43 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)

4/25/06
Manhattan parents of non-Chinese children are encouraging their children to practice Mandarin, China’s official language. In growing numbers, New Yorkers are enrolling their children in Mandarin classes and hiring Chinese-speaking nannies who can double as language tutors. Read more at: http://www.newsday.com/news/local/newyork/ny-nynann0424,0,1046380.story?coll=ny-homepage-mezz

Posted by kdc521 at 12:32 PM | Permalink | Comments (0)