Here’s another fun, FREE activity that local families can participate in this summer:

This is a free bicycle rental program that allows families to bike around Lower Manhattan’s greenway and beyond. You just have to register, reserve and ride! (Children’s bikes as well as tagalongs, wagons and more are also available free of charge.)

Thanks to Mommy Poppins (a great site for NYC parents!) for this tip.

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The U.S. News & World Report recently ran a great article called Good Parents, Bad Results. The article shares eight ways that scientific studies have shown that Mom and Dad go wrong when disciplining their kids.

I usually take “studies” with a grain of salt. (Back in college, I took a “Research and Methodology” class that basically showed how you can make data say almost anything that you want it to say based on what factors you decide to include/leave out. That’s why I’m such a cynic when it comes to statistics, studies and such.) In this case, though, the points make logical sense and I think that it can be beneficial to parents to at least consider them. Basically, the findings are based on research focused on what motivates children to behave. Areas covered include setting limits, being overprotective, nagging, praising, punishing, fun and more.

The one area that parents get wrong that stood out to me (more than any of the others) is “They tell their child how to feel”. I definitely have to be more careful with that when it comes to my oldest son, Michael. Our affectionate nickname for him is “Denzel” because he tends to be dramatic. Mainly, “the drama of it all” is hilarious. (As my husband asked, “Didn’t you go to the school of the arts for drama? That’s right - blame the mother!) However, at times, I can try to talk Michael out of a feeling when he’s being overly emotional. I have to remember to talk him through it rather than negate it. Point taken!

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Recently, my husband (computer programmer turned math teacher) announces to my son Michael that this summer he is going to teach him math before he goes to preschool in the fall. That’s fine. Then, he says, “I’ll be teaching you the math in addition to what mommy has been teaching you.” Then, he turns to me and asks, “So, what are you teaching him?”

After my initial “Excuse me?!” mental reaction, I’ve been thinking about that question over the last week. What am I teaching my oldest son? These are the top four things that I came up with:

1. I’m teaching him to have his own faith. (For example: Last night, my husband asked Michael what was love. He promptly replied, “God”. He’s getting it!)

2. I’m teaching him to treat people the way that he wants to be treated. (That’s not easy with four year olds, but I see consistent progress.)

3. I’m teaching him to have integrity. (In my opinion that quality is so lacking in today’s society. From an early age, Michael has been encouraged to be honest and to do what he says. Yes, even kids should be expected to keep their word!)

If you read this blog regularly, you’ll know that I’m not a “flashcard” type mom. I much prefer that my son learns from experiences and in fun ways. So, I think that the last main thing that I’m teaching him is to be open to a variety of people and experiences. I do this by exposing him to an assortment of people and events - art, music, theatre, etc. Also, he was practically raised at the library – hence, his love for books. I’m teaching him plenty!

(Just to be on the safe side though, I checked the New York State Pre-K Standards site to make sure that he’s on track academic-wise. Although I take “standards” with a grain of salt, it’s reassuring to see that he’s just fine.)

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The Sword in the Stone: 45th Anniversary Special Edition was released on DVD this week. Recently, I enjoyed watching it with my four years old son Michael.

Basically, the story is about an orphaned young boy (Arthur) who is educated and trained by Merlin the wizard. Ultimately, Arthur pulls a sword out of an anvil, unexpectedly securing his kingship of England.

My son primarily liked the magic (when Merlin and Arthur become fish and squirrels). He also loved the wizard/witch battle between Merlin and Madame Mim. One of my favorite parts was the anachronistic references sprinkled throughout. I also enjoyed the themes (the importance of education/ how your present reality doesn’t dictate your future destiny/etc.) of the movie. I especially liked the following lyrics from “That’s What Makes The World Go Round”:

“You must set your sights upon the heights
Don’t be a mediocrity
Don’t just wait and trust to fate
And say, that’s how it’s meant to be
It’s up to you how far you go
If you don’t try you’ll never know
And so my lad as I’ve explained
Nothing ventured, nothing gained”

In any event, I recommend this movie. It’s the same story with more modern animation. The DVD also includes some fun bonus features including a new family-friendly game.

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Today (June 19th) is Juneteenth. Starting back in 1865, it is currently one of the oldest celebrations commemorating the ending of slavery in the United States. (It was on June 19th that Union soldiers brought the news to Galveston, Texas that the war was over/that the slaves were free.) For more information about the holiday and to find events near you that focus on bringing all people together, visit this site.

The June issue of Hallmark Magazine has a great article about celebrating this moment in American history along with some yummy ”Juneteenth Barbecue” recipes. You can also find it online here. (On a side note, I have no idea who bought me a subscription to this magazine, but I like it. Thanks!)

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As summer rapidly approaches, many of us parents begin to think about how to keep our kids occupied. Fortunately, there are many great FREE things to do in every borough. Below are some recommendations.

-Beaches & Pools: The Parks department maintains 14 miles of beaches. They are open from Memorial Day weekend through Labor Day. Lifeguards are on duty daily from 10:00 a.m. to 6:00 p.m. They also maintain 54 outdoor pools which are free and open to the public from late June through Labor Day. On average, their hours of operation are 11:00 a.m. to 7:00 p.m. For more information about local beaches and pools, visit the City of New York’s listings.

-Bike Trails: The Bicycle Network Development site provides information regarding bikeways and greenways throughout the City of New York. From their site, you can view and download New York City Cycling Maps which shows existing bicycle lanes, existing and planned greenways, and a network of recommended on-street routes.

-Bookstores: Many bookstores have sections for children and host story hours. Call your local bookstore in advance to check for details. (Barnes & Noble, Books of Wonder and Hue-Man Bookstore have notable programs.)

-Gardens & Zoos: Many gardens and zoos have special days and/or times when admission is free. You just need to call in advance to check. (The Central Park Zoo, The Bronx Zoo, Brooklyn Botanic Garden, Queens Botanical Garden and Wave Hill all have free days.)

-Libraries: Many branches offer free story hours, arts and crafts, workshops, films, and (most importantly!) the opportunity to borrow books. Check the Brooklyn Public Library, New York Public Library, and Queens Public Library sites for your local branch.

-Museums: Many museums also have special days and/or times when admission is free or “pay as you wish”. Once again, you just need to call in advance to check. (Bronx Museum of the Arts, Children’s Museum of the Arts, Museum of Modern Art (MoMA), the New York Hall of Science, Studio Museum in Harlem, and Whitney Museum of Art all have such days.)

-Parks & Playgrounds: New York City has more than 1,700 parks, playgrounds and recreation facilities across the five boroughs. To find the park of the month, announcements, events and more, visit the Parks website. For a listing of playgrounds in the five boroughs, visit here.

-Sports: There are a variety of free sports programs during the summer. Battery Park City Free Fitness Activities for Children, Chelsea Piers Free Ice Skating, Harlem Meer Catch and Release Fishing (212-860-1370), New York Junior Tennis League’s tennis programs, and the recently opened Junior Golf Center in Brooklyn (718-259-2999) are just a few offerings.

Also, don’t forget all of the free outdoor summer movies, concerts and theatre performances. To stay informed regarding all of the free activities going on throughout the city, view the events calendars on sites like ParentZone, Time Out New York Kids, and goCityKids.

Enjoy!

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The quote in my family planner for this week helps me to keep my schedule in perspective:

“It’s not so much how busy you are, but why you are busy. The bee is praised. The mosquito is swatted.” - Mary O’Connor

(Now, isn’t that the truth?!)

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6/30: Congrats to the winner, Bunny.

Mom in the City is giving away two books for new moms.

Baby Signing by Andrea Fixell & Ted Stafford, shows moms how to talk with their baby without words. Baby Massage by Suzanne Reese, shows moms how to calm their baby with soothing, loving touch.

Mom in the City newsletter subscribers can enter to win by leaving your name in the “Comments” section below or by sending an email to contests@mominthecity.com with “New” in the Subject line by June 30th.

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Sometimes, I run across news stories that are interesting. I just don’t have a strong enough opinion about the story to write an actual post on it. So, I decided that I’d just wait until I gathered a few and put the links in a post with a brief description so that you can check them out if you’re so inclined.

-MSNBC has an interesting article about a “Potty Whisperer” who has a reputation for toilet training kids (2 1/2+) in one day. (Personally, I’m not a huge fan of strict time-lines with kids because each one is so different.)

-CareerBuilder.com’s Annual Father’s Day Survey claims that 37% of working dads would leave their jobs if their family could afford it. (I found that hard to believe. Most of the dads that I know love their kids but definitely would not choose to be stay at home dads.)

-The NY Times has an article on Equal Parenting called When Mom and Dad Share It All. It is about parents who try to split life duties (work/parenting/housework, etc.) 50-50. (My initial thought: “Good luck with that!”)

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A month ago, I was listening to the Daily 10 while I was working. Some celebrity hair stylist (I think that it was Ken Paves) was on the show giving some recipes for summer hair conditioners. I don’t remember the celebrities that he mentioned using them on. I do remember that they were all Caucasian, but I’ve tried them on my relaxed African-American hair and they work equally great.

1. Simple olive oil. Spray on and comb through your hair. (I keep it on while I’m doing household chores.) It leaves your hair nice and shiny after you wash it out.

And

2. ½ of an avocado and 1 cup of plain yogurt mixed together well. You put the mixture on your hair like you would with a normal conditioner. I must say that this left my hair feeling strong, thick and healthy. (I must also admit that while it was on, my son Michael kept saying, “Mommy, you have sticky, smelly hair!”)

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