There are so many events going on during this holiday season. Below are seven great free events taking place throughout the city over the next week. Enjoy!

1. The entire family will enjoy the Washington Market Park “Christmas Party” on December 13th from 2 - 3:30pm. There will be Christmas caroling by Stuyvesant A Cappella, a sing along with Richard Younger, crafts, refreshments and a visit from Santa Claus at this free event. (The main entrance to the park is on Greenwich Street at Duane.)

2. Families will enjoy “Snow Comes in Many Colors” by the Youth Theatre. This original Christmas play features drama, music and dance. This free event takes place on December 14th at 2pm at Riverside Theatre (91 Claremont Avenue at 120th Street). For more information, call (212)870-6784.

3. On December 16th at 12:30pm, take the entire family to see the “New York African Chorus Ensemble” at WFC Winter Garden (Battery Park City). They will teach about the Seven Principles of Kwanzaa through music and poetry readings from James Stovall of works by poet Langston Hughes at this free event. For more information, call (212)945-0505.

4. Enjoy “Winter Holiday Crafts for Tots” at the Chess & Checkers House (mid-Central Park at 64th Street) on December 17th from noon to 3pm. Kids (ages 3 and up) can celebrate with seasonally-themed arts and crafts at the Conservancy’s new monthly series, Crafts for Tots. For more information about this free event, call (212)794-4064.

5. You can take the kids to see the “Kaleidoscope Light Show” any time between December 1st and January 1st at Grand Central (42nd Street between Lexington and Vanderbilt Avenues) on the Main Concourse. The free light shows run every half hour from 11am to 9pm daily.

6. While you’re at Grand Central, you can visit the “NY Transit Museum’s 7th annual Holiday Train Show” at the NY Transit Museum Annex. It is being held from November 24th to January 19th. The show includes a train layout with stops at subway stations, bus stations, gas stations and Santa’s workshop. This year’s new features include Lionel’s brand new models of Metro North’s M7 train and New York City Subway’s R27. The hours for this free show are Monday to Friday 8 a.m. to 8 p.m.; Saturday to Sunday 10 a.m. to 6 p.m.; closed on Christmas and New Year’s Day. For more information, call (212)878-0106.

7. Catch the final season of “The Station at Citigroup Center” at the Citigroup Center Atrium (53 St. and Lexington Ave.). The station will be open from November 28th to January 2nd. The hours for this free exhibit are 10am through 6pm Monday to Saturday including New Year’s Day and noon to 5pm on Sunday. It is closed on Christmas Day. The display features a Victorian station building with clock tower with clocks on all four sides topped off by a locomotive weathervane. Victorian-themed decorative fences (topped with seven lighted Christmas Trees and ending in a forty foot long Victorian cutout train) surround the station building.

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Here are some meal ideas courtesy of Stop & Shop Consumer Advisor Andrea Astrachan. A link to Andrea’s monthly column online can be found here.)

Quick and Easy Chicken Caesar
Wraps
Tortillas
Creamy Caesar dressing
Romaine Lettuce
Chicken Breast

Charbroiled Veggie Burgers served with Edamame or Green Beans
Wheat Hamburger Rolls
Frozen Char Grilled Burger
Frozen Edamame or Frozen Green Beans

Italian Stuffed Shells with Sauce served with a Salad
Frozen stuffed shells
Pasta Sauce
Spring Salad Mix with Low-Fat Italian Dressing

Traditional Chili Served over Brown Rice and Topped with Shredded Cheddar Cheese
Canned diced tomatoes
Canned kidney beans
Brown Rice
Shredded Mild Cheddar Cheese
and Chili Seasoning

Veggie Stuffed Baked Potatoes
Bag of Potatoes
Canned Diced Tomatoes or Medium Salsa
Shredded Low-Fat cheddar Cheese
Canned Black Beans

Soft Tacos Served with Rice and Corn
Tortillas
Salsa
Ground Beef or Ground Turkey
Low fat Shredded Mexican Blend Cheese
Frozen Corn
Rice

Chipotle Chicken Fajitas
Chicken Breast
Tortillas
Chipotle Salsa
Shredded Mexican Blend Cheese
Fresh Green and Red Peppers and
Seasoning

Chicken Broccoli Penne
Chicken Broth
Chicken
Whole Wheat Penne
Frozen Broccoli Florets

This is the last post in this Stop & Shop series, so that means one lucky Mom in the City member will be winning a $50 Stop & Shop/Giant/Peapod gift card. (Mom in the City newsletter subscribers can enter to win by leaving their name and favorite family meal in the “Comments” section below or by sending an email to contests@mominthecity.com with “Shop” and the answer in the Subject line by December 31st).

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In case you missed the August posting of these tips, you can find them here. Enjoy!

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This is the final part of a Q&A with Dr. Thompson, a psychologist, school consultant and author/co-author of eight books including the classic bestseller, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys and It’s a Boy!: Understanding Your Son’s Development from Birth to Eighteen. (You can learn more about Dr. Thompson and his works on his website www.michaelthompson-phd.com.) I have received a lot of positive feedback regarding this series to date, so a huge thanks to Dr. Thompson!

Why is it so hard for boys to communicate — it seems like they either melt down or shut down!
Boys communicate very effectively, but much of their communication is non-verbal. They tend not to use words as early or as often as girls, and boys in groups tend to do activities together, not talk together. That gender difference in conversation is visible early on.

It is also true that from an early age many boys seem not to want to talk about things that make them feel ashamed; that is because it is part of most boys’ psychology to want to be strong, and not to show weakness. When moms are asking their sons about “how they feel” the boy often experiences that as an invitation to be vulnerable, and it makes them feel ashamed. That’s why they look down at their feet and seem to clam up. Sometimes, of course, if they are feeling overwhelmed, they simply fall apart.

Rather than wishing that your son would use more words, you can say to him, “I know you feel awful about not being able to such-and-such. Come get a hug.” After a while, you can simply ask him a question about his feelings, “Are you feeling bad because you can’t….” and he’ll nod in agreement. That helps him to identify his feelings.

The open-ended questions: “How are you?” and “How do you feel?” which are so much a part of female conversation are actually never that successful with boys or men. “You’re angry, aren’t you?” “You feel awful, don’t you?” work much better because a boy (or a man) can express his feelings without sounding weak or like a whiner.

It seems like my son has no awareness regarding physical safety. Will he become more “aware” as he grows older?
Of course he will. We all become more aware of danger as we grow older simply because experience — and trips to the Emergency Room for stitches—teaches all of us that some stunts are dumb and that we have limits. However, little boys live in their bodies and they are impulsive, so the joy of motoring around, of swinging from branches, of jumping from one wall to another often exceeds their judgment, even in the face of experience. That will be the case in some boys for many, many years.

Many teenage boys do reckless things because they feel immortal. The frontal lobes, the location of judgment in the brain, are not fully formed in young men until they are twenty-five. Therefore, I can say that the majority of young men will become far more aware of physical safety in their twenties and therefore more cautious. However, a thrill-seeking minority will still find the excitement of snow-boarding, rock-climbing, and motorcycle racing irresistible, even though it will always make their mothers nervous.

(To see the introduction and the first set of questions, please visit Q&A About Boys: Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D.. For Part II, visit Q&A About Boys (Part II): Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D. For Part III, visit Q&A About Boys (Part III): Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D.)

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Below are some tips courtesy of Stop & Shop Consumer Advisor Andrea Astrachan. A link to Andrea’s monthly column online can be found here.

To save money on clothes and fashion, we all know that great buys can be found by shopping off-season. With food however, the opposite is true - shop seasonally! In fact, although we have become accustomed to being able to get almost any type of food whenever we want it, there is real value to be had when you know the best time to shop for certain items.

Here’s a quick look at how you can save by planning purchases based on upcoming sales. Stock up and store these suggested non-perishables and freeze certain perishable items throughout the year.

January: Avocados, Chicken, Condiments, Ground Beef, Kielbasa, Salsa

February: Cake Mixes, Fish, Frozen Vegetables, Shrimp

March/April: Beef Rib Roasts, Cabbage, Corned Beef, Lamb, Raisins, Prunes and Apricots

May: Marinades, Salad Dressings, Salmon Steaks, Spare Ribs

June: N/A

July: Blueberries, Condiments, Chicken- whole and parts, Ground Beef, Vidalia Onions

August/September: Convenience Breakfast Items, Peanut Butter and Jelly, Pasta, Quick Meal Items

October: Brisket, Chowders, Macaroni and Pastas, Soups, Squash

November: Baking Items, Canned Fruit, Maple Syrup, Stuffing Mixes, Top Round, Turkey

December: Canola Oil, Grape Juice, Ham, Horseradish, Lamb, Roasts, Yams

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Congratulations to Jennifer Bowen on winning an assortment of Libby’s Vegetables and a Mayfair & Jackson Covered Casserole Dish with Rack in our giveaway. (I’m going to have to try their canned pumpkin, since it received such high marks!). Below are the remaining three recipes as promised. Enjoy!

TURKEY TETRAZZINI WITH GREEN BEANS AND MUSHROOMS
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 15 minutes
8 ounces uncooked egg noodles
4 tablespoons butter, divided
8 ounces sliced brown or white mushrooms
1 can (10.5 oz.) condensed cream of mushroom soup, undiluted
1 cup milk
1/2 cup low-fat sour cream
2 cups (about 1 pound) diced cooked turkey
1 can (14.5 oz.) Libby’s French Style Green Beans, drained
1 cup panko bread crumbs
1/2 cup Parmesan cheese

Heat oven to 350°F. Cook noodles following package directions; drain. While noodles are cooking, melt 1 tablespoon butter in a large skillet over medium-high heat. Add mushrooms; cook about 5 minutes or until browned. Add soup, milk and sour cream; stir until blended. Gently mix in turkey, green beans and cooked pasta; transfer to a 2-quart casserole dish. Melt remaining butter; mix with bread crumbs and cheese and sprinkle evenly over casserole. Place in oven about 10 minutes or until casserole is heated through and browned on top.
Serves 4

WINTER MINESTRONE
Prep time: 5 minutes
Cook time: 10 minutes
1 can ( 15 oz.) white beans, drained
1 can (14.5 oz.) Libby’s Cut Green Beans, drained
1 can (14.5 oz.) diced tomatoes
1 can ( 8.5 oz.) Libby’s Mixed Vegetables, drained
1 cup (about 8 oz.) diced cooked ham
1 cup cooked orzo pasta (4 oz. uncooked)
1/4 cup chopped parsley
Pinch of red pepper flakes
2 tablespoons olive oil
1/4 cup grated Parmesan cheese

In a large saucepan, bring white beans, green beans, tomatoes, mixed vegetables, ham and 4 cups water to a simmer over medium heat. Add orzo, parsley and pepper flakes; simmer a few minutes more. Drizzle each bowl with olive oil and sprinkle with Parmesan cheese.
Serves 6

BAKED ACORN SQUASH WITH CURRIED VEGETABLES
Prep time: 10 minutes
Cook time: 50 minutes
2 medium acorn squash
1 tablespoon vegetable oil plus extra for brushing squash
Salt and black pepper
2 teaspoons curry powder
1 can (15 oz.) Libby’s Whole Kernel Sweet Corn, drained
1 can (8.5 oz.) Libby’s Peas and Carrots, drained
1/2 cup (about 4 ounces) cooked diced ham
1/2 cup shredded Cheddar cheese

Heat oven to 350°F. Cut squash in half lengthwise; scoop out seeds with a large spoon. Brush cut sides with oil and sprinkle with salt and pepper. Place cut side down on a shallow baking dish; bake about 45 minutes or until tender. Remove from oven and turn oven to broil. In a large skillet, heat 1 tablespoon oil and curry powder over medium heat until sizzling. Add corn, peas and carrots and ham. Cook, stirring gently, until heated through. Turn squash halves cut side up on baking dish; fill cavities with vegetable mixture. Sprinkle with cheese and broil about 2 minutes or until cheese is melted.
Serves 4

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This is Part III of a Q&A with Dr. Thompson, a psychologist, school consultant and author/co-author of eight books including the classic bestseller, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys and It’s a Boy!: Understanding Your Son’s Development from Birth to Eighteen. (You can learn more about Dr. Thompson and his works on his website www.michaelthompson-phd.com.)

When is the best time to put boys in full day school? (It seems like the majority of schools aren’t geared to physically active boys.)
There is no formula to help you with this decision. Some boys need more quiet play time at home; other boys are ready to wade into a social and school situation. You can figure that out by watching your son and taking your cues from him. If you have a very active boy and you have some school choice, it is important to choose a school that is tolerant of boys, has plenty of outdoor time and isn’t constantly scolding boys. Such a school is likely to be a hell for boys.

In regards to discipline/setting limits, how much should “let boys be boys” really be applied?
The phrase “letting boys be boys” is an unclear guide to parenting. Obviously, you need to stop boys from doing reckless and dangerous things. However, because boys like creative, challenging play that sometimes involves play fighting, danger is often in the eye of the beholder—the parent. In my book, “It’s a Boy! Understanding Your Son’s Development from Birth to Eighteen,” a Kindergarten mother told me that she and the other mothers learned to turn their backs and NOT watch when their sons were playing in a field after school. She said that the moms had a tendency to intervene constantly when they saw their boys pick up sticks or play a hard-charging form of tag. I don’t believe that you should constantly intervene in boys’ play, because free, undirected play is the purest expression of childhood creativity and imagination.

When it comes to moral matters all children need to learn respect, empathy and good manners. You probably should let some boy shouting or bad language pass because you understand it was impulsive and over-excited; however, rudeness, cruelty and destructiveness must always be addressed.

Why are boys considered to be so much more challenging to raise during the early years than girls?
I think it is the boy activity level that keeps moms on their toes for the early years. When his son was between two and three years old, my friend, the child psychiatrist Ned Hallowell, called him “The Terminator.” His son would walk into or over anything, break anything and listen to no one. There was no way to stop him from danger other than to grab him. These boy behaviors are scary for parents, mothers especially. It is worth remembering that at sixteen years old “The Terminator” is quiet, a hardworking student, a gifted singer and a wonderful friend to his friends. The only sign of his early hard-charging behavior is that he is that he is a good wrestler on his school wrestling team.

(To see the introduction and the first set of questions, please visit Q&A About Boys: Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D.. For Part II, visit Q&A About Boys (Part II): Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D. For Part IV, visit Q&A About Boys (Part IV): Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D.)

On a side note, Dr. Thompson was quoted earlier this week in the AP article Serious business: Childhood experts step up campaign for more free-wheeling play time. It’s an interesting, informative read.

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Earlier this week, I attended a Stop & Shop lunch at Friend of a Farmer (they serve an amazing “Old fashion Chicken Pot Pie” …). I’ve said/written it before – Stop & Shop is a really smart company. It’s obvious that they care about their customers and are thinking about their lives. (They really do need to open a Manhattan branch!)

At the lunch, it was great to see some familiar mom-writer faces: Jennifer, Issa and Shannon. It was also wonderful to get holiday planning tips. (Fortunately, I don’t need to worry about that too much. We go to my husband’s aunt’s house for Thanksgiving – I just need to bring one dish.). We also talked about the innovative methods that their company is using to meet their customer’s financial concerns. There were several ways (that I’ll be sharing about in the future) but the one that stood out to me the most was in their meat section. They have made it so that people can choose how much meat they want from the butcher and get it individually wrapped rather than get a prepackaged amount. That’s so smart – some people can’t afford as much meat anymore. Lastly, they gave some really smart gift ideas (i.e. themed baskets filled with various grocery -tea/chocolate/etc.- items. I’m not especially crafty, but even I could do something like that!

The best thing that I like about Stop & Shop events is that I always come away with a lot of great information to share with you. So, this is what I’ll be sharing over the next four weeks (beginning today).

1.Thanksgiving Checklist

2. Shop Seasonally (this is a great one - you can plan your bulk purchases in advance for the entire year!)

3. Tips for Saving Time and Money at the Supermarket

and

4. Easy, Nutritious and Economical Family Meals (along with a $50 gift card giveaway)

Enjoy!

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This is Part II of a Q&A with Dr. Thompson, a psychologist, school consultant and author/co-author of eight books including the classic bestseller, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys and It’s a Boy!: Understanding Your Son’s Development from Birth to Eighteen. (You can learn more about Dr. Thompson and his works on his website www.michaelthompson-phd.com.)

Who has the greatest influence on preschool aged boys - the mother or the father?
In both single-parent families and in traditional, two-parent families (and there are fewer and fewer of them), it is the mother who provides the moment-to-moment, day-to-day care for her son and daughter, and thereby provides the foundation of their emotional lives. A mother’s love is, I believe, the bedrock of a child’s personality. Military histories tell us that when men are dying on the battlefield, with their last breaths they cry out for their moms.

That said, both parents are extremely influential in the life of a child, and I believe nature provided children with two parents for a reason: kids benefit from having two different approaches and two people who can support each other in loving a child during the difficult moments. A boy is profoundly influenced by how his mother treats him and responds to him, and he is equally influenced by the ways in which his father loves him and celebrates him.

Many mothers feel a bit jilted when their three- or four-year-old son, with whom they have spent a long day, suddenly seems incredibly excited by his father coming home. They want to wrestle with their dads, hang on their dads, and do everything their fathers do.

It is normal for a boy to love his mother, but to take her a bit for granted. After all, she’s the one who is usually there; she’s the one who reminds him to bathe and brush his teeth, etc., etc. In a little boy’s world, the fact that his father works outside the home tends to be a novelty, but also a boy needs to start constructing a male identity and it is his father on whom he is going to model himself. I’m sorry when mothers compete with fathers for a boy’s affections. A boy’s love for his father should be a source of pride to his mother; after all, she married his father because she thought he was a good man.

What should moms and dads do/how should they interact with their young sons to best meet their child’s needs?
The most important thing a mother and father should do is to enjoy their sons. Boys are fun, full of energy, sometimes wild, mostly loving and ultimately rewarding. You need to keep them safe, and they need to learn to be well-mannered, but mostly you just have to enjoy what they enjoy. Seeing the world through a boy lens can be pretty illuminating.

When (around what age) should boys be expected to control their physical selves (sitting still; play fighting a lot of the time, etc.)?
I hope no one expects boys to ever “control their physical energy” like girls. Three-quarters of boys are more physically active, more impulsive and developmentally immature in comparison to girls of the same chronological age. Boys in groups are rowdy, loud, and active, and they engage in play fighting right through college. Women who have two or three brothers tell me that they continue wrestling and play fighting into their thirties and even forties. If you are waiting for most boys to calm down and be like girls, you are in for a long, long wait.

(To see the introduction and the first set of questions, please visit Q&A About Boys: Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D. For Part III, visit here and for Part IV, visit here.)

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Back in August, I shared my excitement about having a future Mom in the City Q&A with Michael G. Thompson, Ph.D. in the post Questions About a Boy. Dr. Thompson is a psychologist, school consultant and author/co-author of eight books including the classic bestseller, Raising Cain: Protecting the Emotional Life of Boys and It’s a Boy!: Understanding Your Son’s Development from Birth to Eighteen. (You can learn more about Dr. Thompson and his works on his website www.michaelthompson-phd.com.)

Well, I’m happy to write that the wait is over! Dr. Thompson was gracious enough to answer ten of our top questions. I will be sharing a couple of questions and answers each Friday during the month of November, so be sure to check back each week. Here are the first two…

What do parents need to understand about preschool aged boys?
I think parents, especially moms who weren’t raised with brothers when they were young, need to understand that boys really are different from girls, or more accurately, the average boy has a different arc of development than the average girl. Boys cry more easily than girls and are harder to calm; they are more impulsive and developmentally immature when compared to girls of the same chronological age. Their impulsivity can sometimes be scary to parents; a small group of boys are so impulsive that they can dash out into the street in an instant. We have to keep an eye on them. Fathers sometimes need to be reminded that boys don’t have to be “turned into” men, that their crying and need for cuddling when they are two and three doesn’t mean they will grow up to be soft. Little boys need every bit as much love, cuddling, attention, comfort and guidance as girls do.

Most of all, parents need to remember that boy development is trustworthy. For some reason, parents generally feel that girls are going to be okay and they seem to trust in their development. With boys, parents sometimes panic and are afraid that developmental immaturity at three or four, a problem with anger for example, will mean that their son won’t be a healthy or loving man. It is overwhelmingly likely that he will grow up to be a loving, competent man. When an exasperated mother is trying unsuccessfully to potty train a reluctant boy at three she may lose faith in boy development, especially when she remembers that her daughter was trained at two. She has to remember that almost no sixteen-year-old boys are still wetting their pants! Boys do get there, just more slowly.

Why are boys’ fantasy stories and imaginary games often so violent? Is that something parents should be concerned about?
I prefer to think of boys as being drawn to stories of adventure and power. They love dramatic tales involving conflict between good and evil, life and death. People are so disturbed by the fact that there are killings in boys’ stories that they fail to notice that the hero has often slain a villain. Boys work out their aggressive and angry impulses in stories in which they are heroic figures, filled with moral and physical strength. I believe that is what mythology, drama, art and storytelling are all about and have always been about. (After all, almost every one of Shakespeare’s most famous plays—Hamlet, Macbeth, Julius Caesar—is full of murders).

It is every boy’s wish to grow up to be a strong, respected man. His play and his fantasies always reveal that wish, if you can listen to his heroic yearnings behind the surface blood and guts. Children under five don’t really understand the permanence of death, so killing and dying in a little boy’s stories is just an expression of his desire to win. Since girls rarely engage in this kind of play, we have to ask the question: are little boys’ brains wired to be attracted to aggressive stories? I think they are.

(You can read Part II here , Part III here, and Part IV here.)

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