The U.S. News & World Report recently ran a great article called Good Parents, Bad Results. The article shares eight ways that scientific studies have shown that Mom and Dad go wrong when disciplining their kids.
I usually take “studies” with a grain of salt. (Back in college, I took a “Research and Methodology” class that basically showed how you can make data say almost anything that you want it to say based on what factors you decide to include/leave out. That’s why I’m such a cynic when it comes to statistics, studies and such.) In this case, though, the points make logical sense and I think that it can be beneficial to parents to at least consider them. Basically, the findings are based on research focused on what motivates children to behave. Areas covered include setting limits, being overprotective, nagging, praising, punishing, fun and more.
The one area that parents get wrong that stood out to me (more than any of the others) is “They tell their child how to feel”. I definitely have to be more careful with that when it comes to my oldest son, Michael. Our affectionate nickname for him is “Denzel” because he tends to be dramatic. Mainly, “the drama of it all” is hilarious. (As my husband asked, “Didn’t you go to the school of the arts for drama? That’s right – blame the mother!) However, at times, I can try to talk Michael out of a feeling when he’s being overly emotional. I have to remember to talk him through it rather than negate it. Point taken!